Drudgery Continues

I would be extremely glad spring break were over tomorrow if it actually meant something to the management of this household.

My oldest son's principal graciously collected his homework for him and delivered it to my store. There was a further two day delay getting it to him, as the manila file folder full of homework was delivered into the hands of a coworker for whom it was far less than a priority to get it to me. My son had his back homework by this past Tuesday, then added his own personal delay, cracking it open today. Unfortunately, the bureaucratic powers that be have given him ample excuse for sloth; we have yet to receive an answer or clue as to when he might be able to return to school. So much for educating our youth being a priority.

My wife has been working extra shifts, but not as a reward for exemplary service. Her ultra-'butch' boss has called in every shift my wife would have had off, a trait shared with the 'butch' shift manager I must occasionally deal with at my store. One would think that assuming the masculine role might also include increased fortitude or constitution, or at least a staunch work ethic; no such luck. It appears the warrior women of the Lambda Society are susceptible to more disease and injury than the most ill-ridden premature infant. Nonetheless, her amended work schedule has permitted the two of us even less time to talk and work things through. Trouble is, I think that's much to her liking. I don't find it merely coincidental that she has rarely, if ever been alone for confidential discussions. Gives me a great deal of pause that she'll readily and willingly participate in any marital therapy.

It's been a true struggle to get the kids to help out with any housework beyond holding the furniture down while they watch cartoons or play Xbox. We've discussed having chore teams, and working on a chore chart, but they have a poor example blocking their way to seeing things as they should: the Live-In. It's both startling and disgusting how she considers financial contributions to household expenses to be her sole obligation to my wife and I. Granted, the money she has through her working-soldier husband has been extremely helpful, and she's always ready to chip in when money runs low, but that's precious little compensation when I get home from a 10 1/2 hour shift to find every dish we own either in the sink or mouldering on the stove top, her homework for her online classes incomplete and her corpulent mass testing the springs in our couch from a prone position. As well, it's not just issues with the children that are complicated by her slothful presence; it eats away at what little privacy my wife and I had in the first place, such that we have resorted to a spoken code and communicating through text messages when we're all in the same room, which, of course, is always.

There is some positive news from the past several days. Through some creative networking with local physicians and clergy, I've located a doctoral marriage therapy clinic at the local university that charges less than half the fee the previously least-expensive clinic does. The wife still thinks it's too expensive; I think she never thought I'd find anything at all and is running out of stall tactics. Regardless, she has agreed to attend the sessions I book for us. All that remains is calling for an appointment and coordinating our schedules. This also follows that most difficult of discussions, the "so, honey, you still AC or have you gone DC on me?" talk. She claims to still be straight, acted repulsed when I asked if she and her 'bff' were more than just 'bff's'. I still retain a shred of doubt; her level of objection and repulsion suggests the cloaking disgust of those not ready to leave the safety of the closet, and she is more attached to this friend than I believe she ever was to me.

Once these appointments are made, our financial and scheduling obligations will increase. It will be far more difficult to assume classes or even explore programs, but at this point, I'm willing to sacrifice a great deal to save our fourteen year investment in each other.